Enjoy Today

It’s nearly August already, and the academic blogs are heating up with discussions of pre-semester prep. The stores are running their back-to-school promotions, reminding us that school will be back in session too soon.

This is unsettling. Our summer in Vermont has been especially rainy, and with only six clear-sky days since May, we’ve been in the anticipatory mode for weeks on end. Wherever we are, the conversation turns inevitability to one topic: When is summer ever going to begin?

In other parts of the country – Portland and Seattle, for example – the weather has been far too hot. I imagine the folks there wondering, when is summer ever going to end?

This seems to have been the summer of discontent. Not just because of the weather. But because of the recession as well. These are not good times for most families, and I think that a lot of us are eager for the future to arrive somewhat ahead of schedule so that we can get back to normal. As optimists, most of us expect that the markets will recover, people will buy and sell homes again, jobs will be available, and what is wrong will come back to right. It will all happen. Eventually.

But just not right now.

The tough part, then, is to take every day simply for what it is, and to not want to “fast-forward the future” to more ideal conditions.

One of my sons is leaving for boarding school in a few weeks. He’ll be there for his sophomore, junior and senior years of high school. It’s his dream school, and he can’t wait to get his dorm assignment and settle in. He’s half packed already. But I am still getting used to the idea that he won’t be at home in the Fall. The entire time he was growing up, I had assumed that he wouldn’t leave home until college. But, things change. Unexpected opportunities arise.

And soon his bedroom will be empty. Three years ahead of plan.

Don’t I now wish that I had savored more of our time together? Yes. Without a doubt.

But many times as a mom I found myself wishing that I could fast-forward to a day when my kids would be less dependent on me. I remember the days when I could barely get a shower in because I had no time for myself. Days when it seemed selfish to even take a short nap, or place a phone call to a friend. I remember the endless rounds of making meals for the kids and cleaning up, over and over again. Oh, I can’t wait, I’d think to myself, for the day when they are grown up and can actually do stuff for themselves.

And now, here we are, at a threshold of independence, and I am wondering how could time have passed so darn quickly?

It’s not that I regret wanting time to speed up. It’s probably one of the ways I stayed sane while up to my elbows in dirty laundry, dealing with crying kids, barking dogs, an endless stream of repairmen, and a husband who couldn’t understand why the house was never clean. If I thought I’d be there forever, well, I most definitely would have gone barking mad.

But with my son about to leave for school, and with all of that behind me, I really appreciate the wisdom it takes to “live in the now.” Country singer Trace Adkins sings a brilliant song called "You're Gonna Miss This." The refrain captures perfectly what I’ve been trying to remind myself this summer:

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you’re gonna miss this.

So, yeah, the summer didn’t exactly turn out as planned. It rained again today, and my job situation isn’t where I want it to be. I'm as eager as anyone for the economy to get back on track. But one day I’m going to be looking back at a very sweet time in our family’s life when the four of us were still all together under one roof.

And I’m going to miss this.